Thursday, June 7, 2012

You are faithful.


To be transparent, this past year has been extremely stretching for me. 

Graduating from college, filling a new position at a summer camp, establishing my own classroom, teaching 12 precious 2nd graders each day for a whole year, and putting together a musical program have heighted my awareness that I cannot do this on my own.  My heart’s cry resounds with 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12:
“To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.”
I want to be worthy of the call, to serve my Lord faithfully, to depend wholly upon Him, and to bring glory to His name. 

I will be the first to tell you that I felt inadequate for all these responsibilities. And yet, I proclaim with confidence that God was faithful in all these things to accomplish His perfect will. 

I have often asked the Lord to grow my faith and to show me more clearly my great need for Him.  But as physical growth can cause us discomfort and pain, spiritual growth and discipline does not always prove a pleasant experience.  Ah, but the results are well worth it.  Remember Hebrews 12:11? “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”

Preparing for Prague has been a source of uncomfortable but needed growth in my relationship with the Lord.  I have never had to depend on Him as I do now.  Thinking about raising support, adapting to a new culture, teaching international students, finding a church body, and establishing new friendships makes it easy for me to become anxious.  But the Lord is ever gracious.  Numerous times He has proved His faithfulness to me.  He has manifested His power through providing financial support, often times from the most unlikely places and always right when I need it. 

One particular example happened recently.  I was struggling to trust Him to meet the financial goal for the end of the month.  Praise the Lord for the promise of 2 Timothy 2:13! “…if we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.”  Sunday morning we sang the song “Never Once”, which has the refrain  “You are faithful. God, you are faithful.”  As I was singing these lyrics, the Lord filled my heart with peace, and I knew that He would truly prove faithful, no matter what happened.  These words I would preach to my heart whenever there was doubt.  A few days later marked the end of the month, and still the goal had not been reached.  I remember telling my mom, “Well, tomorrow is the last day of May and I’m not at 50% yet, but God is still faithful.”  Of course, a few hours later, God provided over the amount needed to meet the month goal!  I was so humbled by His grace, and it further solidified my trust in His faithfulness. 
I am so thankful for these moments of uncertainly, of adequacy, and of uncomfortable stretching.  They are not pleasant at the moment, but they produce a harvest of faith in my heart.  I know greater battles are yet to come, and I am grateful for the Lord’s mercy in giving me what I can handle.  He truly is able to complete the work He begins, and He always does it within His perfect time.

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”  Ephesians 3:20-21